Book notes: The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem
I've started reading The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem with an accountability buddy. Here's a free Archive.org link to view or download it. Nathaniel Branden's work has popped up here and there in my life: I found another of his books, The Disowned Self, in my parents basement years ago; a former colleague recommended my current read on social media, saying it had been life-changing for several people he knew. My mentee was looking for new resources on building self-worth, so I suggested we read this together. Branden was closely associated with Ayn Rand and her worldview of Objectivism, and apparently Six Pillars has some political stuff in it. It felt it necessary to clarify that, no, my recommendation to read this book together was not an endorsement of all of Branden's political or philosophical views.
I may update this blog post as I make progress through the book. So far I'm in the introductory section still, but I believe this book will have an impact on me. Here is the gist:
- Self-esteem is composed of 2 parts: A self-respect part, which is the belief that you're capable of navigating life's basic challenges, and a self-love part, which is the belief that you have intrinsic worth.
- Self-esteem is dynamic, it increases and decreases throughout our life. This is important because this claim means that the self-esteem we develop as little ones is not fixed for life.
- The part that's most important to me is that self-esteem plays a significant impact on our behaviour--choices, actions, thoughts, responses. And then, in turn, our self-esteem is impacted by the results of our behaviour. An example that comes up a lot in the book is a person who has low self-esteem engaging in self-sabotaging behaviours (often subconsciously) that then bring about results that reinforce their low self-esteem.
- Low self-esteem is at the root of many types of problems that people bring to therapy (Branden was a clinic therapist). Self-esteem is not a panacea but it's like an "immune system" for the consciousness, making us more resilient to setbacks and challenges. It's not the only thing we need to thrive, but we do need it to thrive.
- Self-esteem can be built up, because the actions that build it can be learned and practiced.
The book is giving me lots to think about in my own life. Just today, I noticed where I may be engaging in some self-sabotaging behaviour. I think that's probably a pretty normal occurrence for me...what's different today is that I noticed it more quickly, and was able to see it as a more normal thing. (But still important to notice and try to change.) Reading Six Pillars certainly gives me the impression that many of us struggle with self-esteem, and act out of a place of low self-esteem.